I was a god. My metabolism was incredible. I was eating 5-6000 calories a day and you would never have known it. Now I’m 22 and every meal is like a death sentence. Every day without working out is a day where I feel like a worm, a scum, a worthless, miserable piece of unmotivated shit. I see my paunch getting bigger with every meal, the skin under my chin too. I can barely stem the tide, and moreover.. Why do I want to? I have to live my whole life fighting back the urge to drink beer, eat snacks, have fun.. What’s the fucking point? What’s the point of living, if not to live? I gain no enjoyment from staying in shape, less from NOT staying in shape, but still… Each day is a struggle to maintain par and it makes me miserable. What’s the fucking point?
-
Too bad I didn’t die at 18-19
